Life is always an adventure with twists and turns, unexpected challenges and blessings.
Chores and responsibilities cause minutes to fly, turning hours into days, days into weeks, weeks into months until everything halts.
And halt it did.
Sudden fatigue and heading to bed early led to not feeling well and ultimately a covid positive result.
I slept ALOT and remained quarantined in my bedroom with only the company of cats and my husband bringing me food, which I couldn’t taste AT ALL! (It is one of the weirdest things I have ever experienced to feel different textures in my mouth, but absolutely no taste.)
I haven’t finished a cup of coffee since. There is simply no enjoyment.
As time progresses, I’m learning that having your smell and taste come back slowly, in small increments, is in fact harder than not tasting at all! Instead of having no smell, I have a weird smell that I really cannot even describe. The limited taste I do have is severely compromised and makes me nauseous a lot of the time.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that for a very long time early morning coffee, my bible and conversation with the Holy Spirit (prayer) has been my very favorite part of the day. I start looking forward to the morning as I go to bed each night. (Yes, I am serious!)
Honestly, it has been a struggle. I have given up coffee and have resorted to hot lemon water.
I’m being challenged to push through my discomfort and stay focused on why I’m setting apart this first part of my day anyway.
It was hard to realize, and then admit, that somehow along the way it was more about my coffee and quiet than it was about my companionship with the Lord. I had shifted from my first love without even knowing it.
Did you get that? I had shifted from my first love of Jesus to a love of coffee in quiet without even knowing it!
I repented to the Lord who graciously forgave me (in my mind’s eye) with a gentle smile of understanding and a loving hug.
I have also been sensing a strong invitation to “taste and see that the Lord is good” Psalm 34:8.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
With my natural taste compromised, can I truly “taste and see” the goodness of God in our time together? Do I love Jesus more than I love my first sip of coffee?
Intellectually, I can answer YES, but in reality I’m not certain.
I had to chuckle when I read Psalm 34:8 in The Passion Translation along with the ever informative footnotes that open up the Scipture in such deep and profound ways.
Drink deeply[a] of the pleasures of this God.
Experience for yourself the joyous mercies he gives
to all who turn to hide themselves in him.
a 34:8 Many translations read “Taste and see.” The Hebrew root word for “see” is taken from a word that means “to drink deeply.”
The invitation is to drink deeply of God and His mercies instead of my coffee.
I am choosing to savor Him above all else.
It reminded me of the struggle I had at the beginning of quarantine, to truly worship at home with only my immediate family, without the live worship team and corporate encouragement of my brothers and sisters in Christ.
It was a legitimate struggle that was worth every ounce of struggle because it has led to breakthrough in my own personal worship.
Likewise, I am truly learning to taste and see His goodness in new ways.
Some mornings are harder than others, but I can honestly say my focus and rest is returning. I’m actually more engaged in actually worshiping the Lord, in truly savoring His presence.
I know the Lord is calling me to passionately worship Him in spirit and truth with my whole heart more deeply.
It’s funny, I have always been a writer and have more journals than I can easily count after so many years. However, in this season I can simply engage with Him relationally and not have to write it down to stay focused.
I mean when I have the rare occasion to connect with a friend in person, I do not take notes as she shares her heart with me. I listen and soak it all in, enjoying her presence and mannerisms, simply our time physically together.
I’m starting to enjoy Him and His mannerisms as we spend together chatting and sharing our hearts. It’s easy to move from passionate declarations of love for Him to prayer that those I love would experience this same powerful union with Him.
It has been a process to grow to this point after countless times when I had to believe the Lord was with me in faith only because the Word of God says so and not because I “felt” Him.
At the very least, we know that reading and meditating on verses is always a good thing.
According to Isaiah 55:11:
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void, But is shall accomplish what I please.
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
So whether I feel His presence or not, I know with confidence that He is with me and ensuring His words are accomplishing what He intends. Perhaps in time, I will reap the fruit of the seeds of obedience I have sown by continuing to create space and partake of His Word and His Spirit.
May we all continue to press in and prioritize our relationship with Him and truly taste, drink deeply, of His goodness in new and deeper ways.
“Spirit, when You move You make my heart pound
When You fill the room
You’re here and I know You are moving
I’m here and I know You will fill me”
I love these lyrics and the message of the following song. It is my heart’s cry and has been on repeat so I wanted to share it.
for daily inspiration and encouragement.
Copyright © 2021 Alison Lewis, A Secret Spring.
All rights reserved.