My heart is bubbling with joy to share a very meaningful story and a testimony of God’s goodness and grace.

It began many years ago back in June when our oldest was 4 and our son was 1. 

We found out that I was pregnant with our 3rd child. Our daughter was so excited to be a big sister again and really wanted a little sister.

Ryan and I were shocked, but it soon turned to excitement as we imagined life as a family 5.

All started well, I heard the baby’s heartbeat and saw the ultrasound picture. It was becoming more real and my heart soared at the possibilities of this new blessing.

I remember a moment sitting on the couch in our playroom watching the kids play when I became very aware of the baby in my womb and placed both hands on my tummy. It was one of those moments that only became special looking back with the understanding of what would unfold in the next couple of days.

There is no need to recount the scary details or trauma of what would transpire in the coming days. There would be calls to my midwife and confirmation that I was having a miscarriage. It was sad and scary and a whole mix of emotions.

Fast forward to after Christmas and just before when the baby would have been due. The grief was real and our struggle for healing a process. We decided we wanted to plant a tree in the baby’s honor. 

Ryan picked out the tree and since we were renting an apartment, decided to plant it at church where we could see it often and watch it grow. It was our declaration that God was still good. We had a simple heartfelt little ceremony just the four of us with the Lord.

So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose.

Romans 8:28 TPT

A few months ago, the Lord reminded me that my sister and her husband are expecting the birth of their first child, after many years of trying, with a due date just 2 days after when mine would have been.

I felt the Lord’s loving embrace and joy that we will soon welcome a little life and celebrate that life for many, many years to come. I was in awe of His goodness to redeem such a painful time in such an amazing way!

The Lord always goes above and beyond and gave our family an extra hug and kiss when we viewed our tree decorated with beautiful white lights for a drive thru nativity.

My heart welled up with love and joy to see how big our tree had grown and how beautiful it look decorated in an event aimed to tell the story of Jesus’ humble birth and the gift He is to those of us who believe.

I felt my Father’s love and presence. I felt seen by Him and aware of His goodness and faithfulness to a new level.

I wanted to share this, because it is a beautiful picture of hope for anyone who may be grieving or struggling with heartbreak and loss after such a difficult year.  

I trust that if you cling to Him and His goodness, despite the challenges and sorrow, He will redeem your grief and suffering with joy.

Many blessings to you and your family for a very Merry Christmas!

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